Showing posts with label Unkown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unkown. Show all posts

Friday, October 15, 2010

Bleck!!!

So this little complicated , crazy,roller coaster that is my life.....bleck. Having a blah day. Last couple of days  with the boys have been  particularly difficult . Arrrggg!!! We do so well for so long and then, HEY road bump!!!!! Why? Who the heck knows.  

Hudson is still refusing to go poop in the toilet, he wet his pants twice yesterday.(which he doesn't do usually) I think in the last 5 days I have been bit 6 times. And the constant screaming and demands are about to drive me to my early grave. I hear him at night twisting and turning and grumbling so I know that he is not sleeping well .Again why? Today he cried and didn't want to go to school. Had to put him on the bus. He loves school and the bus. What gives?

Hayden on the other end of the spectrum has been a little booger also. Yesterday I took him to  pioneer park to see his friend Nicholas, that he has been bugging me to see sooo much lately, what does he do?  FREAKS on me at the park. Full fledged meltdown screaming flaying on the ground, crying like I am the worst mother in the world. Why? All for his current obsession for the little monopoly tickets at his favorite place-Mc Donalds. Good Sweet Lord!!!  What triggered this meltdown that lasted at least 30 mins in plan view in a public park. Nicholas had a Happy Meal from McD's. Oh holy Hannah the water gates were opened. Did he recover? Well as good as Hayden usually does. Whole night.....we were on edge!  Last meltdown of the day, he closed himself in the closet refusing to take his medicine. 20 mins of negotiations. Ufta! 

What bothers me the most. The unpredictability of what my day is going to contain. I'm I going to have to be in full fledge Mommy Combat today or are we going to functions fairly well? If I knew, then I could prepare my mind. The constant uncertainty from day to day or even hour to hour is exhausting.  


 But hey what are ya going to do? Bleck!!!! 


 P.S-  By the way I am just joking with the pics. ;) 

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Randomness


What Am I feeling?
A little overwhelmed and sad.

Why?
For some reasons known and other things unknown.

What should I do?
I am going to breathe and take a day at a time.



What is important?
All my boys in my life.

What am I enjoying now?
The quite.

What made me happy today? 
Little boy kisses, the rain and pumpkin pie blizzards. (or course w/extra stuff)

Am I okay?
Yes, and I will be.

How?
By relying on someone bigger than I for help.

Step 1: Pray
Step 2: Believe
Step 3: Work in accordance
Step 4: Be willing to see the answer, even if it is one that I don't want. 

Goal 1: Do this everyday
Goal 2: Become what I am meant to be
Goal3: Do not have shame, but confidence and self worth.

No person/people can ruin me. I will show them that I am valuable. Even though they never saw my true value. 

Am I lovable for just being me?
I hope....because that is all I can be. 

Has everyone always left?
No........but I am scared they will.

Will I make my fears my reality, if I don't 100% trust life?


No one can be sure what will happen tomorrow. 

What is the only thing that is the constant?
Uncertainty,but a promise of hope. 

Will I conquer my battles in life with dignity?
Only if I ask for help


So that is what I will do.